it’s been a while…

18 Aug

Wow, I am way over due for a blog entry. I have actually had lots of things to write about, I just haven’t felt like it. Sowwy….

So, the past couple weeks have been good. Kacy and I have been getting out of town on the weekends to help take a break from the consuming life of TTC fun. It really has helped…. As much as it can, I suppose.

I did get some good news, on August 8th I had a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) Test. Which is where they shoot dye up your hoohaw and take pictures of you uterus and fallopian tubes. I am proud to say my insides are perfect! 🙂 It was a really uncomfortable procedure and combined with the latest round of Clomid, I cried through the whole thing. Yes, I know I am a big baby. But, I am going to continue to blame all of my irrational behavior on the hormones for as long as I can…it lets me get away with a lot, so get used to it.

My doctor also tested my hormones again and those are perfect as well, so everything is great and working as it should. While this is all wonderful news, it really makes me wonder why I am not getting pregnant.
Well, I suppose I could be pregnant, Kacy and I inseminated on August 16th. This time around was probably the best experience we have had yet. My doctor was on vacation and so another doctor handled this round. I was not excited. I had gotten comfortable with my doctor and now a stranger was going to be poking around down there? Fun.

So I met with the substitute doctor the day before the insemination to check on the status of my follicles and I had some huge ones! Usually I just have one good one, this time I had quite a few. She said my chances of twins went from 5% to 20-30%. Which means my chances of at least one went up too, right?
So normally during insemination my doctor just thaws the baby batter  in some water (outside of the room) and we never actually see it. But this doctor brought the whole tank into the room and gave the vile to Kacy to thaw with her body heat. Then she left so we could “bond”. It may seem gross or weird to someone who is not going through this, but it was a great experience for us. Kacy held the frozen vile in her hands and we sent positive energy into it. It was incredible to know that we were bringing it back to life. After the insemination the doctor ask us if we wanted to keep the empty vile, again I know this may seem weird to most of you, but we thought since we were DEFINITELY going to get pregnant this time it would be something cool to have. We looked at the vile and noticed that it had the date that our donor donated and it was my birthday. All of this has to be good omens, right? RIGHT???

So here I am again in the 2WW (two week wait for those not well versed in the TTC (Trying to conceive) lingo) These two weeks are always the hardest. You analyze every little pain or itch and then Google if it means you are pregnant. Unfortunately, PMS and early pregnancy symptoms are identical. Super. So it never really helps, but I still can’t stop. It does help knowing that these TTC message boards exist because so many women are going bat-shit crazy during this 2WW too though. Crazy loves company?

Hopefully I will have good news to share soon. Until then…


71 Responses to “it’s been a while…”

  1. Ishere August 18, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    Happy for you guys fingers crossed!!

  2. Marisa August 18, 2011 at 1:48 pm #

    Really pulling for you guys.
    You’ll both be awesome parents.

  3. Christina August 18, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

    Good luck, you guys!

    I got pregnant the month I had a hysterosalpingogram – I hope you have the same luck!

  4. Audra August 18, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    All excellent signs that things will work out this time! I will keep whatever I can crossed, crossed for you two!!! although I am not going through this process too, I am more than excited with what you and Kacy are going through. To know there is a little human out there waiting to find you two is quite a trip for an outsider like me. What makes it even better is to see how much you love and support each other and to know that this child will be one of the most loved children ever!!!

    Sending you positive love and support from North Carolina!!! – Audra

  5. Noell August 18, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    Hey Cori,

    You guys should have a public lily offering. Invite all of your biggest supporters to meet at a place at a certain time and bring their lilies! Every can offer there lilies for you guys at once!!

  6. Keri August 18, 2011 at 2:15 pm #

    So happy for your positive experience with a substitute doctor. The same thing happened to us the 2nd time we tried and I thought I was going to die…she was great, I just hate change!

    We are at the half way period of the TWW. We actually had a friend come forward and offer his baby batter because he saw the financial burden it was to keep going through frozen sperm & IUIs. So we did 5 days around my ovulation. The whole home insemination was quite interesting, there was a learning curve for my partner as to where things were and what to do but it was so much more relaxed. So, we’re hoping!!!! Like you said PMS and early pregnancy symptoms are the same…it sucks! Right now I’m tired, naseau, I have cramps and got 3 pimples on my chin today….I’m guessing PMS but who knows.

    Peace, Love & Baby Dust Ladies!

    Keri & Jen
    Old Town, ME

    • shauna August 18, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

      Good luck to you Keri and Jen. We also have our best friend to help us. He’s given us our miracle boy and now we hope to have #2 in the belly..

  7. Wendy August 18, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    I have such a good feeling about this, this go round! Wishing you the best of luck and tons of baby *vvvviiibbbeesss********! Keep us posted!

  8. Kristin August 18, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    I have a question. On the show you shared that there were only limited amounts of baby batter available from your first pick donor, so whose are you using now? Did you find another donor you liked through that same website?

    • Amye August 18, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

      I was wondering the same thing.

  9. Erin Lauren August 18, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    Im not even going to wish you luck on this one Girlie Girl…. ITS MAGIC! I have this saying that I have stuck with through the years…

    HOPE is for people that dont BELIEVE You just have to believe it will happen 100%, not one bit of doubt. Imagine it to be so!

    You two are going to make wonderful, compassionate and adoring parents. I see a wee girl in your future… actually maybe two.

  10. penny rex August 18, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    Good luck to you two. Any child would be lucky to have you two as moms! I pray that there will bw a baby for you.

  11. hopefullyblue August 18, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

    Omg I hope that y’all are pregnant and I am so glad the new doctor allowed Kacy to be more a part of it. It was like she was contributing. I love your story and hope to have am amazing update soon 😉

  12. Diana Dexter Powers August 18, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

    All good signs indeed! The vial having your birthdate..gave me chills! You two are going to be amazing parents. Kids are the most amazing gift that God honors us with. Sending positve energy, love and support. Thank you for keeping your fans updated! Hugs Diana

  13. Tara August 18, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    Everything sounds perfect this round. As of right now, you are PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). Keep up the positive vibes, they definitely help! It’s encouraging to know that everything is great with your body though! Remember… it only takes one! Hopefully that one found its way to make some babies for you. 🙂 Sending big sticky thoughts your way from Texas!

  14. Jen August 18, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    The first time I thought I might be pregnant was during a Rufus Wainwright concert. And I was right! So listen to some Rufus for good luck.

  15. krista August 18, 2011 at 2:28 pm #

    You are NOT a big baby! I had an HSG and the radiologist made it seem like it was gonna be all butterflies and sunshine. It was not even close to that I cried the whole time too! Good luck & baby dust!

  16. shauna August 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    I wish u guys the best!! Krystal and I are also in the 2ww and its so hard not to notice every little thing that happens. Today she is 8dpo and been cramping for 3 days and of course it gets us both wondering . I find myself asking her all the time if she feels different of she notices anything. We said last nite that the 2ww is worse then AF showing up. The mommy playbook is a great place to talk to others or see other women’s symptoms 🙂 Were in the same boat as u right now , keep ur head up and keep us updated.

  17. libertyr August 18, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    My wife, KIris, and I just went through this whole thing last year. It’s almost like watching ourselves when we watch you two. So many of the emotions you’re going through and the things you two say – they are identical to us! We had my tubes cleaned, checked my hormones, did this, did that and we tried several times (7 to be exact)… it didn’t work for us – but we both sooooo hope it works for you two. Thankfully you seem have the sort of love Kris and I have… it’s beautiful, and you will both be wonderful if this doesn’t happen, but I think you’ll be magical if it does. Good luck and light to you both. Kris and Liberty

  18. Jennifer August 18, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

    Your post gave me chills and had me in tears. I don’t know what you’re going through but I’m pulling for the two of you. Yes, as everyone says…keep the positive vibes going because that energy has to help, right? I love how Kacy was able to be so involved this time. Lots of luck & love to you both…

  19. Brit August 18, 2011 at 2:39 pm #

    I wish you the best this time around, Cori and Kacy!!! I know you two def. deserve it. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. =)

  20. Laura Nelson August 18, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

    I am so happy for you guys. It gave me major chills when you said that the vile had your birthday on it and how Kacy was able to be more apart of it. You had it done on my sons birthday, so maybe that’ll be extra luck. =) Just stay positive. I’m keeping you guys in my prayers.

  21. Michelle August 18, 2011 at 2:49 pm #

    I’ve heard that a lot of women say they are “extra” fertile after an HSG and get pregnant the cycle following one. I’m totally crossing my fingers that this time is different for you. 🙂 After my miscarriage in February, I’ve been wanting to get an HSG done to make sure things are all clear and was going to ask my doctor about it this month. I hate the TWW, literally despise it so I know the torture you are going through. I’m still waiting to O over here. Hope you a get a BFP this month. Can I ask what message board groups you frequent? I’m on a bunch of those as well. Xo.

  22. Cassie Saiz August 18, 2011 at 3:04 pm #

    I am 1 Week down from the 2WW. Good luck ladies I will send tons of good vibes your way.

  23. Hannah Edwards August 18, 2011 at 3:05 pm #

    Oh I know about the 2WW and confusing early pregnancy symptoms with PMS. I have done that several times myself and in fact am going through that process again right now (1 week down already). One thing I do know having had a successful pregnancy is that with that one I got a funny tummy (as in loose number 2’s. Sorry gross I know) from about a week after that insemination and I have not had that again (even with the miscarriage). I know people say the symptoms are different every time but I keep looking out for that symptom because the result was our 3 year old boy and it has not happened. Anyway fingers crossed for you.

  24. Cyn August 18, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

    Good luck ladies we will say a prayer for u!

  25. Stephanie August 18, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

    Cori, I wish I could say that this was easy but its not. I followed you guys on the show because my partner of 3 years (a month of being married yaya nyc made it legal) have been TTC for a very long time. We tried doing it at home at first with a known donar and let me tell you that you defiantly dogged a bullet there. Timing is everything and when you involved another person in your ovulation schedule things are just bound to clash. We stepped it up and tried to do an ICI which is a home method with frozen sperm. It was just as good as shooting blanks. We took a break because it was just so hard emotionally I drove myself crazy. I lived and breathed baby making. I gave up smoking caffein sushi I gave up drinking I was plain crazy. When we decided to take a break I just took a step back and realized that me going crazy was not helping. I decided to bring myself back to normal life I drank socially I eat sushi I still didn’t do the caffein thing just cause that stuff is horrible for you lol. When I calmed down and just acted “normal” my body was reacting positively. We got married and decided maybe we should step it up again. We tried an IUI with a midwife with no medication. We took a chance. We picked a frozen donar (2 actually) because we figured one of them would work from Cryos International New York. They had an amazing selection and the prices were (from what you said in the show) a lot less. Our midwife was amazing she talk to us the whole way thru and gave us so much confidence to pull through. During our TWW I was nervous. I didn’t know what to think how to act but all I kept saying wast “Im pregnant, this worked”. Our wait was almost over we had about three days left and I spotted. It was very little but I was devastated. For some reason something in me said the fight wasn’t over. We cried, we sat down and promised each other no matter what we would keep going and keep fighting for this to work we promised to change anything we needed to in order to better our selves so that the little baby that we wanted so much saw us as good parents and would want to come to be with us. When I realized that the next few days nothing came down. I took a test and to my surprise it was POSITIVE. I had gone thru implantation bleeding (which im sure you know about). In the show you said you had never spoken to anyone that said it worked the first time. Im grateful every day that it worked on our first try and maybe this is not your first but sometimes all you need is some good karma some good vibes some relaxation time some time to just be normal. I have a feeling this time worked for you but just know that this is something that WILL WORK it took us very long close to two years to make this happen for us and just know that no matter how hard it gets. IT WILL WORK. I hope you read this and get some hope from this. Because it will happy

  26. UnicornLesbians August 18, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

    I too am TTC .. For awhile now, I saw you on the show and saw myself an my gf in you two… I cried almost everytime I saw y’all .. And girl when ya broke down after losing sperm sample, I FELT YOUR PAIN…. good luck!!! I am trying again the 20th, 22nd and 24th. So maybe we will both be lucky!!!!

  27. Debra August 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    Adding my best wishes to the list. Keep that love flowing and know that all is well.

  28. Jamie August 18, 2011 at 3:40 pm #

    I am sending good vibes your way and hope nothing but the best for you both. Thank you for representing for all us couples out there 🙂

  29. Lisa Afano (@lilmrsafano) August 18, 2011 at 4:12 pm #

    Wishing both lots of Love and positive vibes! I know you guys will great parents!

  30. Liz August 18, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

    I hear ya girls!!! We r in the 2ww too and it couldn’t go any slowerrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Your odds sound fantastic!!! Good luck!! Sorry the HSG hurt. I had one recently too and it wasn’t terrible but it’s definitely not the most comfortable procedure. So glad everything checked out. Congrats again. It’s gonna happen. Keep the faith. 🙂

  31. Krista August 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

    You and Kacy are going to be beautiful parents to a beautiful child. Keep your heads up! I send my best energy to you :]

  32. kacychristine August 18, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

    I held the vile next to my heart! It was incredible! This has got to be it! It just has to be!

    • hopefullyblue August 18, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

      I really do see this for you two. I am excited for y’all ;*)

    • Amye August 18, 2011 at 8:37 pm #

      You are so adorable! I’ve never seen 2 peoples so in-tune witth each other. I love how y’all imagine a little baby up in heaven just waiting for you! I JUST KNOW IT’S MEANT TO BE! It IS God’s plan. I honestly, whole heartdly believe that!

  33. go cori go August 18, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

    Love this! I am hoping for the best for you! And no, none of it seemed weird at all.

  34. silvia August 18, 2011 at 6:18 pm #

    thats awesome!!! but remember girls love can with everything!!! and remember if this time doesnt happen keep loving each other and keep trying never give up or get tired of trying never loose hope that God is watching you from there… so just keep praying and u´ll be ready for the child or children comming!!!!


  35. Nancy & Vesonia August 18, 2011 at 7:39 pm #

    We have been in your exact shoes and know what you are going through.. Those two weeks are horrible:( but when it finally happens it’s well worth it.. We got prego on our 5th try and that was with the help of the clomid and shot we had two big eggs and lots of small ones and go figure we are expecting twins! We wish u the best of luck and hope to hear good news soon. Take care and never hesitate to ask us questions:)

  36. Rebecca Savage August 18, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    Thanks for the link to this blog Cori! I am really pulling for guys and so excited for you that you just got inseminated again a couple of days ago. Good luck and Gods speed to you and Kacy!!!

  37. Amye August 18, 2011 at 8:20 pm #

    Ok 1st NOTHING about getting pregnant with the person you love is GROSS!!
    2nd I CAN NOT believe he donated on your Birthday! THAT HAS to be a signj
    3rd Awww LOVE the whole B.I.S! (Before Insemination Story) And keeping the VIAL! I mean what are the chances that the 1st time you see the actual vial & are asked if you wanna keep it, that it would have YOUR birthday on it? Come On! It’s FATE! Girls I am sending up MAD PRAYERS for you & throwing THOUSANDS of Virtual Lillies into heaven in your honor! 🙂
    One Love,

  38. Crystal August 18, 2011 at 8:49 pm #

    Good luck!!! My wife and I are going to be starting the process soon… I pray and wish you ALL the luck in the WORLD! You guys will be amazing parents!

  39. Maggie August 18, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

    This sounds extremely “omenish”

    I’ll think positive and keep my “visiting Aunt” an extra week without complaining in the hopes that yours will not drop by!!
    C’mon girls …. any other donations? Let’s “donate” to take on extra period time so the baby has lots of free time to get to her mamas.
    Howzat???? 😉

    • Amye August 20, 2011 at 7:26 pm #

      I’m in!! Anything to help!

      • Maggie September 4, 2011 at 11:49 am #

        Cool Amye, guess it worked! (and I’m getting another visit now. I can just feel it)

        It’s great news about the girls, huh? I’m thinking healthy baby girl.


  40. angela August 18, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    Good luck ladies. We went through the process last year and am proud to say we have a beautiful 9 month old baby girl. You two are brave to have cameras documenting the emotional roller coaster that is TTC.
    Continue keeping faith. It will happen when it’s meant to. Though the 7 months of TTC was extremely taxing and trying it will be well worth it and seem like a blink of an eye in hindsight.

  41. Rosie August 18, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    I am sending you all the positive vibes and baby dust in the world!! I am in love with a man who has low sperm count (and possibly low motility) and I know I’ll most likely be going through similar treatments in the next 3 to 5 years when we start trying (even though I am not on birth control, ha), but you know what? It’s all about Love. I believe in that energy, God is Love. And there is a baby in this world for you, whether you conceive in this round or another another (I’m crossing my fingers for this round to be IT though) or if it’s through adoption or both (we would like to do both), there is a child for all the Love you have to give. And I don’t know you ladies, but I believe it because your positive energy, your Love for each other is so strong it bursts through my tv screen and into my heart. I can feel it. I wish you both the best of luck in this journey. Please keep us posted. Hugs and kisses to both of you! ❤

  42. Fen August 19, 2011 at 1:58 am #

    I’ve got my fingers and toeses and everything else crossed for you guys. Mwah.

  43. cmfountain123 August 19, 2011 at 5:01 am #

    It was great to hear from you in this blog. I am happy to hear all your insides are good to go. Nothing that you shared sounds weird at all. I think it’s incredibly sweet that Kacy brought the lil spermies back to life with her body heat and you two were allowed a private moment before insemination. I think it is a postive omen for sure that your birthday was on the tubie thingy! We are all rooting for you! I feel it in my bones that you will be parents; just hoping it is sooner than later to spare you both the turmoil of the wait. Love you both! 🙂

  44. Erica August 19, 2011 at 8:19 am #

    Good luck and I bet you are pregnant! 🙂

  45. Nicki Schultz August 19, 2011 at 8:24 am #

    Hey! congrats on doing it again!! fingers are crossed!! The HSG is a bit painful, I know, I had it done too…annndddd!! A LOT of people get prego after this procedure! YAY!! something about ‘flushing the tubes’ with the dye! 🙂 also, I think that you had a different doc and the thaw was different..and the donation on your birthday..all of these are awesome changes!! Hope it works this time AND I hope your 2WW goes by FAST!! thanks for keeping us posted!!

  46. Vuhlocibree August 19, 2011 at 10:06 am #

    Positive thoughts are always a great reinforcement! Babies on the brain for you guys!

  47. cat palmer August 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    watching you and kacy is an inspiration. my girlfriend and i are starting to talk about marriage and kids and having people like yall as an example is awesome! good luck 🙂

  48. Marguerite August 19, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    Je vous souhaite bonne chance! I hope that this time is the last and good Time

  49. Danielle August 19, 2011 at 4:23 pm #

    YAY! It sounds like you had a wonderful cycle this time around – lots of good energy and positive thoughts to you and Kacy! You are so right about the 2WW making you go batshit crazy. I am not proud to say I once googled “pooping after embryo transfer” because I was terrified to even go to the bathroom. Hoping this one goes by as fast as possible for you! Thinking of you both! 🙂

  50. Tara F August 20, 2011 at 4:24 pm #

    It sounds as if you definitely need to switch Doctors. A Doctors bedside manner has a really important impact on how your experience is going to be. You need a doctor with a calming soothing disposition. If your current physician is lacking in those qualities then you really should consider changing . Making a baby should be joyful no matter how it is achieved.

    PS. Your a great writer(funny and witty). I look forward to reading your blog once you have a bun in the oven. Its going to be great.

  51. mingomama August 20, 2011 at 5:55 pm #

    It will happen. I went through many a failed cycle. I don’t have a baby in my arms yet (but that is due more to a cheating spouse than anything else) but I have faith that I will someday. You two will too. I’m sure you know lots of people in your real life with experience, but I can introduce you to a whole bunch of lesbian baby making blogs if you would like. Feel free to email me! heidimingo at gmail dot com

    love and hugs

  52. Nicole-Fox News August 21, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    I adore both of you so much and admire you for allowing cameras to capture some of the most intimate and trying times of your lives! I can’t wait for the day when you post on your blog that you both are expecting a baby! I have no doubt that this will happen very soon! Your unconditional love for one another is truly inspiring and I know that the two of you will make incredible parents! Best of luck!!!!

    All my heart, all my luck & all my love,

  53. Dyan August 21, 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    You guys are my favorite and my partner and I know exactly how you feel! We went through that a few years ago.

    We have our fingers crossed for you guys and will be sending positive thoughts your way!

    Good luck!

  54. shesmyhusband August 21, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

    I’m so happy for you guys, and am really pulling for you. Everything worth having, is worth fighting for. Thank you for keeping us updated on your story.

  55. littleboots August 22, 2011 at 12:04 am #

    I am posting a poem I wrote the day my partner and I found out we were pregnant. We wish you all the luck in the world!

    You are finally a part of us.
    We are a family of three today.
    For so long we were a family of two.
    We had begun to wonder if you would ever
    find your way to us.

    Time and time we hoped you would be here.
    But time and time we were disappointed.
    We know it wasn’t your fault, it just wasn’t the right time.
    Someone was watching over the three of us and knew
    when the time was right for us to be a family.

    We just found out about you today and already you are loved.
    Actually you were loved even before you were conceived.
    While your Mommy nurtures you and keeps you physically safe,
    I will be protecting and supporting Mommy so she has no worries.

    Some day soon we will get to see you growing in Mommy’s belly.
    It will be one of the best day of my life, like the day I fell in love with Mommy.
    Then one day we will be able to touch your tiny hands and kiss you cheek.
    From that day on it will be our honor to be your parents.

  56. vitaram23 August 22, 2011 at 3:32 pm #

    positive vibes to team unicorn!

  57. Vyolet August 23, 2011 at 6:44 am #

    Good luck :):):)

  58. Tiffany August 23, 2011 at 7:48 am #

    Said a prayer for you guys this morning.

  59. Lauren and Rebecca August 24, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    Baby Dust!!!!!*********** 🙂 Let us know when u find out

  60. Chloë August 24, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

    Good luck! Xx

  61. Liz August 24, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

    Remember the feeling of how much you want a baby in a few years when your kid is 2 and throwing a ridiculous fit over who knows what.

  62. Cg McGee August 24, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    i inseminated on the 21st … am waiting IMpatiently … check out my project baby blog

  63. Lauren August 25, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

    Rooting for you, from Australia 🙂 xox

  64. Chrissy D August 30, 2011 at 6:30 pm #

    HSGs turn your tubes into a slip-n-slide! My doctor finally ordered one after two years TTC and we are due in 7 weeks with a little girl. We are all rooting for you two and cannot wait to hear the news! 🙂

    Best wishes,
    Chrissy D

  65. Katie September 1, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    Awesome story!!!! I am a single lesbian but I am getting ready to start TTC…I’m scared and excited!! I love you best wishes can’t wait for ur good news!!

Thoughts??? :)

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