The Other Mother

29 Aug

My incredible wife, Kacy, has agreed to write a little something to show her side of things. So here is Kacy’s first guest blog post! Hopefully, the first of many 🙂

Right now I am listening to Joni Mitchell.  “Blue”, to be specific.  It’s not that I am altogether sad, more than just trying to calm the subways of my mind:  Uptown trains speeding by – the tests, the news, the realizations – a baby, a kid, a teen, a boy or girl, a man or woman who will one day look at me and call me “mom.”  And the downtown express, that this is hopeless, it’s too hard, too painful, too much – that it will never happen.  Sad songs make the noise stop – at least, Joni does.

Most people don’t usually connect with the other mother – us “non-birthers”.  Cori’s body is changing, her emotions, her hormones, I mean, my baby is going through so much.  And while I would never compare the two, I am going through my own journey.  This is what I picture: I am standing on a diving board, and below is a beautiful pool.  In the crystal blue water, I see my future:  Cori pregnant, me kissing baby toes, dancing as a family in the kitchen while we make Christmas cookies, Cori and I holding hands at a recital, packaging a lunch, teaching the perfect jump shot… I see it all.

I live on this diving board.  Every insemination, I make my approach, striding confidently one, two, three, and then a jump and a bounce.  My toes grip the grainy board, my muscles strain as they explode upwards, excited, systemic – and into the air I go.

Some divers soar gracefully in the air.  They pike, spin, somersault.  They are intent on diving in.  My journey is through the air… wondering if when I hit the board again, I will lunge forward  – toward that beautiful future that awaits me – or if I will catch myself, like I have so many times before, rebound, and get my balance.

I want what’s in the water.  I want to see that smile on my wife’s face when she tells me, “baby, we’re pregnant”.  When she hands me our baby for the first time and says, “look what we did, baby.  We’re a family.”  She is not the only mother in this story.  There are two mother’s hoping to become just that.

I have short hair.  I wear men’s clothes.  But underneath it, I unwrap a full-grown woman.  My dreams are as pink as my lips, as soft as the timbers of my voice, and as gentle as the intentions of my actions.  I am confident, a person of morals and action, I do not sit by the sidelines, but I cry.  I have cried so many nights.

I look at children on the street and the tears well up in my eyes.  Yes, I fear that they will not love me as much as they will Cori.  Yes, I fear that because they are not “of me” that they will not really be mine – but it doesn’t stop the want to have them – because I will love them forever.

A mother’s love is supposed to go one way to some extent.  Children are made out of love and they only truly understand the love of their parents when they become parents themselves.  I want to jump off that bridge when we get to it – but I want to start walking toward that bridge already!

Two weeks is almost over… and I am in the air, with the crystal water of future dreams beneath me.  I am holding my breath… just in case.

-Kacy

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66 Responses to “The Other Mother”

  1. Hali Cloutman August 29, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    Kacy, that was so beautiful.

    • Carissa September 1, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

      tears in my eyes

  2. Lamisha Serf August 29, 2011 at 11:09 am #

    Telling the story of the “other mother” is one that is left forgotten many times. I too am the other mother and had/still have many of the same fears you do. All I can say is be true to your feelings and true to your partner and child. In time the fears will begin to fade and the feeling of motherhood will embrace you as much as it does your beautiful wife. While she is going through the physical rollercoaster, you are riding one of emotions so strong, it can be hard to get ahold of.

    You and your wife have been on my mind (not in a creepy way), but in the ” I hope this is the time for you to have a child and experience the joy of having a child” way. I think this time will be the “it” time and you will get to dive in softly to the beautiful blue water that awaits you. It gets better, but your journey has only just begun.

    Good luck in your journey and I wish you and your family the best!

  3. Lamisha Serf August 29, 2011 at 11:10 am #

    On a side note…you are a kick ass writer!

  4. Virginie (@loveblindpets) August 29, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    Beautiful, you should write more often. I hope this time is the good one, good luck to both of you.

  5. Noell August 29, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    Kacy, you write beautifully. You really have a knack for this writing thing. Thank you for allowing us all to see it from your side. Its important to all those going through or hoping to go through this one day.

  6. Kim Swanson August 29, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    That was amazing! Thank you for sharing. My partner & I are praying & wishing you both much happiness!

  7. Michelle August 29, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    Kacy, that was beautiful! Your child will connect with you just as much as they connect with Cori. None of us remember being in our mothers wombs and we all connect with both of our parents (assuming they were loving and caring people). The two of you will be wonderful mommies. Fingers crossed that you get to dive head first into that pool of yours in the next few days. I just started my 2WW, and man is it diffcult. Even though I’m straight, the pain and heartache is universal. My husband goes through the same feelings as you are right now. I have two lesbian sisters in loving committed relationships, and one of them wil be starting this journey in December. I’ve referred her to this blog for some reference. Sending lots of baby vibes your way!

  8. NoreenK August 29, 2011 at 11:21 am #

    Wow!!!! Beautifully written–I am speechless. Just want to let you know that you both are in my thoughts and prayers!! Sending positive vibes!!

  9. Caroline Dröge August 29, 2011 at 11:27 am #

    You are a great writer. It is really good to know what the other mother thinks and feels. You describe everything perfect, in your own words. I can almost hear you say it.
    So please write again some other time.

  10. Lucianne Costanza (@LucianneC86) August 29, 2011 at 11:27 am #

    Kaci, I need to second, third, fourth, etc. the comments about what a beautiful writer you are. Girl, you should write a memoir about your experience and this can be the beginning. It is inspiring and a story that is usually forgotten or never told, as some have commented above. I, myself, want to write a memoir one day, about a different theme, but nonetheless, when you have a story like yours, it needs to get out there. I think I can speak for the lesbian community when I say, those of us who wish to be parents, would more than love to witness your journey through your beautiful story. I’m going to go as far as saying that we NEED you to do so. Perhaps you can do a joint memoir, with each chapter switching from Cori’s side to yours, which ends (and begins..) with the arrival of your future child. Keep faith and hope. I’m praying for you both!

    • Amye August 29, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

      AMAZING idea for a book! They would be doing a lot of parents (Straight & Gay) a favor by writing such a book! I probably couldn’t be in a more different situation than Cori & Kacy, but reading what she wrote, I feel like that diver only my pool is a little different. I wanted to keep reading! I fell in love w/ those 2 on TRLW, but after reading their blogs I fell even harder!

  11. tnnangel06 August 29, 2011 at 11:36 am #

    Kacy tht was awesome u gave a great insight to what it is like I imagine my husband feels some what the same way as we r going thru our own journey as well everyday I send prayers for the two u ! u nd cori will be great mothers !

  12. Lucy August 29, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    Absolutely beautiful. And I’m sure it will resonant loudly within the hearts and souls of the “other mothers” out there who can relate. Thanks for sharing this!

  13. Christy Tarr August 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

    Nicely put.
    I am the “other mother” as well. Although there is an obvious connection between our son and my partner…she would say about he and I. It will be ok. Hearthache is inevitable when it comes to the kiddos but you will know he or she loves you because you know that you love them so much theres no way they dont love you right back.

  14. Audra August 29, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    I’m speechless – that was really a beautiful heartfelt account of what is going on with your emotions and you eloquently portrayed that to us. Amazing.

    The love that you and Cori share will undoubtedly transfer over to your child(ren). To be such a close knit team, as you two are, is so important and I can’t imagine that either of you will be any less than Mommy to the lucky child(ren) that you call your own.

    I have you both on my brain with the hope of hearing some great news soon. And if for some reason that now may not be the time, just know that there are people who have never met you that admire the path you are traveling and will support you throughout your journey.

    Be good to yourselves.

  15. errin August 29, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    That was so sweet and beutiful and I am sure when you and Cori finally have that baby you can read that to them and they will for sure know both mothers love so dearly.

  16. sara August 29, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    kacy write more often! that was beautiful and great to hear ur thoughts!

  17. Kris Riley August 29, 2011 at 12:45 pm #

    I am the non-birth mother and I have felt the same feelings although mine came after our daughter was born and she needed my wife for the breast feedings and after a year of breast feeding, I still felt like i was not needed. I wanted the bonding times as well, to feel the closeness. Don’t get me wrong my wife was always there helping and encouraging the closeness. Our daughter now 2 still goes to my wife for comfort, but it seems now she is coming to me more. We couldn’t be an happier to have her and we were one of the lucky ones as it happened on our first, non-clinical at home insemination. We loved your story line and when Cori cried I cried, i wanted to come thru the screen and help you both. We are sending you all of the baby wishes in the world. I hope there is a season 3 and you both will be on it.

    Love each other always!

  18. wendh August 29, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

    That was beautiful …Our story is so different i had my sons the so called traditional way and i am now in a relationship with Linda who is more of a parent to my kids than their father.. And speaking as the bio mom from where i sit I see that my kids are in love with their “othermother” so im sure your children will be with you too. I could say so much more about your post but I have to get ready for work and that was the first thing I wanted to say. best wishes cant wait to read all about your baby/babies….. today my baby turned 8 btw happy birthday Gavin!

  19. Ashley August 29, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

    This was so beautifully written it brought tears to my eyes. I don’t even know you but I can completely relate to everything you are saying. You guys will get your baby and he/she will love you more then you can imagine!! There is no way someone who has this much love to give isn’t meant to be a mother. Thank you for sharing.

  20. Maria August 29, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    Kacy, you write so elequently that I feel your heartbreak and hope for the future bubbling under the surface. I wish you and Cori the best of luck and hope that you two will very soon be expecting. Love you guys so much.

  21. Paul August 29, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    You both have so much love for each other and together you will give so much love to any child you bring into your lives. And that child will love you both back in equal measure. This much I know for sure.

    Thank you for sharing your journey and love with us. I feel lucky to have been able to watch from a distance. We’re all holding our breath for you. Post again soon Kacy!

  22. Stacy214 August 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    Wow, Kacy, I am speechless. That was absolutely beautiful. Poignant, spiritual, and deeply personal. I thank you for having the courage to reveal so much. It says a lot about your character, about your experiences, and about your process as one part of this beautiful equation.

    Having Cori be a surrogate for “your” baby via IFV is hopefully a possibility for you two.

    I wait with great anticipation with hopefully will be good news…

  23. Nicci August 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    You guys were the only reason why I watched the show this season. This post was incredible and I wish you nothing but the best of luck and positive energy for your baby making process!! Thank you for being such inspiring people!

  24. MOrena BraSil August 29, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    It’s too much difficult to see long relationships, at least here.People are totally discredited about fidelity, love and frindship =/. In resume, if you can be able to go on being just exactly the way you are one to the other and to yours friends, at probably, this baby will have a wonderfull home to live and as you can see…your baby there wil have a lot of Uncles ‘n Aunts not because you’re lesbians and we have to defend it, NO. We’re with you because you deserve the best from the ones you really are.

    I don’t know if made me understood, i hope i could.

    kisses and hugS.

    mOrena braSil*

  25. Starla Abernathy August 29, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    That was incredibly written, Kacy! I have tears in my eyes. My wife is the “other mother,” and sometimes I look at her and wonder what she is going through during this entire process. Thank you for bringing what I am sure she is feeling to light, but also some of my own emotions. Thank you for sharing such raw and tender vulnerabilities.

  26. lori August 29, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    What a beautiful post of your perspective Kacy! When my fiance and I are ready to take the step into motherhood I will be Cori in this situation so to see the viewpoint of the other mommy is very insightfully refreshing. All the best luck to the both of you and I hope this time is it and you can cannonball into your future!!!!!

  27. MJ August 29, 2011 at 1:17 pm #

    I never thought some one could summarize exactly how I feel but you have done just that! thank you and I wish you and cori the best of luck!!!

  28. Kelly August 29, 2011 at 1:28 pm #

    KAcy I just read your blog and I gotta say..you really must do this more…not only for EVERYONE who is pulling for this to happen me included but for yourself. Its a way to help get threw. I want to tell you that Ive had your same fears of not being the bio-mother and how the child would respond. 5yrs ago my ex-gf adopted a child of her friends..we or she got her at birth. My ex-gf was a HUGE mistake for me in my life HOWEVER the 2 1/2yrs of experience raising that child (because of course my ex did nothing) was one that i will always treasure. I was up every night for a year sleeping in a recliner because the baby had reflux and couldnt sleep laying down..I lost my job to take care of the baby day and night..all of the feedings when the baby was sick i was up when the baby couldnt sleep i was rocking her infront of the sink with the water running for 3 hrs (a very good tip by the way)….And I will say this that child looked to me more as a mother..put her arms out to me more then anyone else. A mother isnt just some one who brings you into this world its someone who is there when you need them the most. Unfortunately, I realized what a nut case my ex was once it was too late and had to leave for my safty. She was just enough of an A%^$ to let me do all that work and gave me zero custody so unfortunately for the sake of the baby and my life(and my fiancee) I had to walk away. I am now engaged to the most wonderful loving perfect person for me in the world. We’ve been together for 3yrs and we will be getting married in June 2012. We plan on doing the same thing you guys are in the process of doing. And I cant wait to hold that baby knowing that he or she is mine and my soon to be wifes and that cant be taken away. You guys will be blessed I just know it and when you are you guys will BOTH be great mothers..because you are loving, caring, smart, and it is something you both did together and that baby will be so lucky..BEST of luck you guys you will be in my fiancees and my prayers 🙂

  29. joy epstein August 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

    My ex-wife and I were on your journey 8 years ago. It took 6 months, long months, and we have a handsome 7 year old son. She is “the other mother” and he loves her as much as me, the biological mother. I have faith that you two will experience the joys of motherhood and you will be able to stand on the diving board and see your family below.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story.

  30. Tara August 29, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    First let me start by saying that you guys are a beautiful couple. My wife and I just adore you guys. From what we see on tv anyway:)
    My wife, melissa, and I have gone through multiple insemination cycles. We tried 4 cycles with me and one with her. Frozen sperm and fresh (from a known donor). Needless to say, all five were unsuccessful and the known donor no longer could handle it as he thought further about it. So we have not done a cycle since December. Its so expensive. And I have two children from a previous relationship to financially care after.
    It is an emotional rollercoaster, to say the least. Feeling everytime like that could be the time all to have your hopes shattered. And as the one carrying and feeling like you are pregnant and feeling like you have all the symptoms which could also be mistaken for AF…sucks. I have also been on the waiting and watching end. Looking for any hint or sign that she is pregnant. You aren’t the one feeling it So you can feel a bit in the dark. I cried hysterically every time we got that BFN. It crushed my soul. And we are not getting any younger. I am almost 31 and she’s almost 32. That can be a bit discouraging. Your ovaries age too and your follicle supply can decrease.
    My point behind all of this is that I understand. I understand the financial, mental, emotional and evreything else that comes with two, not rich, woman trying to conceive a baby together. Always remember this… you will always have one another in the end if, god forbid, it doesn’t happen. And if it does happen… you will have eachother and more:) Best wishes to you both and try to keep smiling!!
    Tara from PA

  31. Technically Cursed August 29, 2011 at 1:42 pm #

    Wow Kacy this is amazing. You’re such a beautiful writer ❤ This really kindof gave me perspective on the other side of things. My girlfriend and I have talked about having children in the future..years from now and I would be the one carrying the baby. I made her read this and she was like "I'm going to feel the same way." So thank you for posting this and I wish you the best of luck with everything. Also I'm sure your baby is going to love you just as much as he/she loves Cori ❤

  32. Cassie August 29, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    I love it! We rarely get to see the other side of things. I thank you for this it is wonderful and you will be a great mother and your children will love you. Good luck Girls I am praying for you two.

  33. the other Cori August 29, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    Amazing…Kacy, you have a real gift for writing. I feel like I’m right there with you. I wish you and Cori the very best and I know it will happen soon and when it does your lives will be forever changed in the most wonderful way. Much love for you both and soon to be three!!!

  34. Mel August 29, 2011 at 3:09 pm #

    Unbelievably amazing post. Although my husband and I have chosen not to have children, for the very reason that we don’t have the dreams you and Cori do, I have the utmost respect for parents who love, desire, and greedily want a child to love and raise, from conception to birth and beyond. Those are the people who should be parents. You and Cori are going to be amazing mothers when the time comes. I hope, when your child is old enough, you’ll let him/her read all of your words so they can know just how much you love them.

  35. JessLif August 29, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    Simply incredible. Tears in my eyes, a bit short of breath. What a gift you are creating for your child. He or she is going to have these incredible blog posts to look back at one day and live without any doubt that he or she was wanted and made in such love. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

  36. Connie Wright Roberts August 29, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

    Wow.. that was beautifully said. You really let everyone into what it’s like looking at the situation through your eyes. I truly adore both of you and wish you nothing but the very best and I know that there is a little one just waiting to have two such great mommies!

  37. luvguac August 29, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    Wow…just WOW.
    Beautiful.

  38. Payton August 29, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

    Kacy this is so incredible. You are an amazing writer, you really bring up so much emotion in your writing and leave yourself exposed. It’s phenomenal.

    I am sending love to you two and hoping that this time, you can both become mothers. Lord knows you have waited long enough.

  39. Amye August 29, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    OMG!!! Are you a writer, or WHAT?? I could NOT be more SERIOUS that I felt….. That….. IDK How to say it, but it’s just such an INCREDIBLE DESCRIPTION of what your feeling that even as a straight married Mom of 2, I could picture EXACTLY how you feel!! I can’t remember if you ever said what you do for a living, but you should consider writing!! I LOVE Y’all & am hold my breath right along with ya, praying that your dreams come true!
    ESPECIALLY THE MOMMY ONES!!!

  40. Misty August 29, 2011 at 6:27 pm #

    Kacy,

    I had all the same fears you have. But once you hold your child for the first time, all of that fades away. The day my partner and I had our son was a magical day. It is something I will never forget. And the bond that my partner and I now share since becoming parents is amazing. Good luck through your journey. It will all be worth it in the end!

    Misty

  41. areyoumymoms August 29, 2011 at 6:40 pm #

    Kacy, that was simply beautiful. I’ve never read something that so accurately described what it’s like to be in “the other mother’s” body. That post could have easily been written by my wife, who is carrying me through our first tww. But as much as I adore her, she wouldn’t have put it so eloquently. Thank you.

  42. kverdugo August 29, 2011 at 8:44 pm #

    Kacy, awesome writing. You need to blog more! I felt many times what you have felt and I hope with all of me that your and Cori’s every dream comes true. Unfortunately, for my wife and I, it didn’t. But we have come to accept that and love everyone’s kids and get to part when they become cranky. Many well wishes and positive vibes your way!!

  43. Amye August 29, 2011 at 8:53 pm #

    I always love reading all the comments on your blog!! Such strong women with such loving hearts. God Bless all of you. Especially the ones going through the invitro process. Everything happens for a reason and so maybe, if it takes say 8 times, maybe the 1st 7 weren’t YOUR perfect baby. Just don’t lose hope!

  44. KaseG August 29, 2011 at 11:08 pm #

    Cori & Kacy

    I share your feelings every bit of it. I too stood on that diving board waiting to jump into my future I saw myself have with my baby. I too cannot magically impregnate my wife. The reason for that is because I too was born female but now is transitioned into a male. We both yearned for a baby in our lives after 10 years together we knew that was our next step after our marriage. I knew it would be difficult but I was not prepared for the 2WW roller coaster we went through. My frustration and heart aches was felt tremendously. I felt like it was never going to happen for us. Going through the insemination’s, one after another was becoming dreadful. I didn’t know what to think, who to blame and what to do at that point. We tried several times, spent so much money and time we can’t get back. I was not going to give up on this dream of mine and knowing me I wouldn’t either. My wife on the other hand was close to the realization that we might not be parents at this time and she won’t be giving birth anytime soon either. Something told me to not give up and to do my research online. I placed good thoughts out into the Universe “The Secret” and visioned myself with our baby next year. I convinced my wife that giving up was not an option for us and I might not be able to get her physically pregnant but I will somehow get her pregnant no matter what….

    I had dreams about it and read online how it can be done faster and accurately at home. I also read that if you do it on the day you get a happy face and go to the Dr., there is a possibility that you might not catch it on time. That’s how I feel it happened to us. Our doctor would say come in when you get a happy face 🙂 and we would begin the process. Chances were it didn’t attach itself because it takes hours or days to do so. I’ve read that if you know your cycle and you know how many days out you will ovulate then you can begin the process at least 2 days before. That way you give the swimmers time to reach it’s destination. Me and the wife were determine to do so and try almost anything. By the time we had researched our stuff, we had ran out of money to keep up with the doctors and process. That’s when I decided to research about home insemination. I read many successful stories. The one thing I noticed in these stories were that the sperm was fresh. After late nights, headaches, cries, heartaches, disappointments, anger and frustration we decided to go onto this website that offer sperm by men who are willing to donate fresh specimens at a minimal cost. You can also do all the paper with them as needed. They will also get tested for everything you need to make sure mommy and baby is safe. Anyways, it might bit a little extreme what I’m sharing but it was all worth it to us. There’s a lot more details to this. I like to share with you and your wife privately if you like. Me and the wife have added you guys on FB and Tweet.

    I’m happy to say my wife is now 5 months pregnant with our baby cupcake (girl)! I can’t believe I was able to jump in that pool of dreams and make it happen for us. That’s why I know it will happen for you and Cori. I can see you guys soon enough posting “We are Pregnant”! We support you guys all the way and just know that you’re not alone in this and there is people out there who has gone through this as well.

    By the way Cori, me and the wife would check every day on every website about symptoms and changes. I think we were obsessed and I think we were driving people crazy because we would ask every mom out there if anything was indication that she was pregnant. Any slight changes or moods we wanted to believe it had something to do with her being pregnant. A good website we followed was http://www.babyandbump.com, http://www.countdowntomypregnancy.com and http://www.twoweekwait.com. I hope those will help because the forums helped us and the people were always so supportive. I wish you both lots of luck and baby dust!!! I know Kacy won’t give up and will fight for you both to be parents soon like I did with my wife. You both will be awesome, loving, respectful parents. We can’t wait to hear all about it too!

    With love and respect,
    Dj_Kase_G

  45. Chantelle August 30, 2011 at 2:21 am #

    That is so beautiful.

  46. Ginny August 30, 2011 at 5:29 am #

    Exquisite writing, and how brave of you two to share your hearts. What a gift to the rest of us and to the world to have our normal journeys publicized, especially with such honour. Thank you so much. And i hope you know and can feel that so much love from so many places is beamed at you both and your journey. 🙂

  47. sabrina August 30, 2011 at 6:28 am #

    You are a beautiful writer. I don’t know what you do for your day job, but you should really consider writing a book from your perspective for non-birth mothers, for men, and for women who use a surrogate. . .

  48. lianne colgan (@liannecolgan) August 30, 2011 at 7:56 am #

    kaci, your blog was amazing. I read it like i was reading a poem or short story the images you created described your emotions so well ! it was brilliant !

  49. Lauren August 30, 2011 at 8:36 am #

    Beautiful.

  50. Lauren and Rebecca August 30, 2011 at 10:17 am #

    Seriously……Thank you! I don’t know if you read my comment before asking you to blog as well from “the other side of the bed” or not but I’m so glad you did! All I know now is that all those little angel babies haven’t come to ya’ll (can you tell I’m in texas) yet because they must be fighting over who gets to be the kid to the RADest mom’s they know!!!!! Way to go Kacy…you explain the feeling quite perfectly. And NO….your kiddo will never know you as any more or any less then their most awesome mom…weather they were born from your Vah-JJ or born from your heart! 🙂 Like I said before I had our daughter 8 years ago and my partner had our son 2 years ago, before he came I was sure there was going to be subtle differences. What if I bonded to her more because I had her? What if he loved her more because she had him??? Well…neither of those things matter I soon found out…I love him just as much and I swear it I’m his favorite…so….what’s the moral of this story? Your position albeit scary and emotion filled, is going to make perfect sense in the end. Love you guys and much BABY DUST to ya!

  51. violetitaporfavor August 30, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    Kacy,

    I wish you and your wife love, luck, and many many beautiful children. God only knows you really deserve it. As I read stories of the horror some parents put their children through I pray that more families like yours (and mine) are blessed with the children they really do deserve.

    Stay strong, focused, and know that there are many of us out here praying/pulling for you and your wife.

    Love Vi

  52. jadedthoughts0 August 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    Kacy you’re such a good writer! It was great to here your side of everything 🙂
    I have a really random question for you girls..when you got married…did you keep last names?

  53. Diane August 30, 2011 at 8:00 pm #

    That was beautiful! Hoping and praying for you guys daily!

    Your baby will love you just as much as Cori. It may seem different at times, but no less, for each of you. Our son is now 22 months old and some days he wants me (Mommy) and other days he wants Ina or Nina (Michelle, my partner). Most days he wants his sissy though! Every day though he hugs and kisses and loves ALL of us!

    Good luck!

  54. Elle August 31, 2011 at 1:49 pm #

    Kacy, you’re a beautiful writer! It’s just amazing how you can put your feelings and thoughts into words. I am wishing you both lots of love and happiness and hope that your dreams will come true. You will make great mommies!!

  55. Chloë August 31, 2011 at 2:39 pm #

    I am actually amazed at how beautifuly you write your feelings.. You will be as much a mother as Cori. Your children will love you no matter what because you will be there for that first day of school. That first bike ride. The first time they will fall. They will love you because their heads will be filled with memories of you. And you will be great as a mum with those men jeans. You both will.
    Chloe xo

  56. Sarah August 31, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    I understand this post completely. My partner and I have been trying for two years to have a baby. We haven’t had success, but we still have hope. As long as the hope is there, I know she and I will succeed one day. Keep your head up! When you least expect it, all your dreams come true! :]

  57. Julia August 31, 2011 at 6:26 pm #

    You girls are so inspiring!! I love the way you deal with each other, its really inspire me! I see my wife and I in you both! I send you good wishes in the baby making process every day!
    XO
    from Brazil 😉

  58. casscampbell-owen September 1, 2011 at 12:32 am #

    As someone who knew Cori in our youth… I have to say they way you treat her, and are portrayed on tv is touching. I am so glad that my High School Friend found someone like you. Ironically, a bunch of us who were in colorguard/band/ performing arts are now gay/lesbian. My girlfriend says it was in the water in Fontana. 🙂 I wish you both the best of luck! <3-Cass

  59. Katie September 1, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

    I guys take my breath away! That was beautiful!!

  60. shesmyhusband September 2, 2011 at 1:18 pm #

    This is amazing! I agree with the other readers that your writing skills are amazing, and I hope you realize that your children will love you as much as they love Cori. The great thing about children is their inability to judge. They will love you because you love them. You both have so much love to give! Keep your head high!

  61. jen September 23, 2011 at 11:41 am #

    Kacy, that was beautiful! So deep and heartfelt. Yes, I agree…children are created from love. Don’t you ever let someone tell you that child is not yours!! He/she is as much your child as he/she is Cori’s 🙂 I hope everything is going great! Congrats and good luck!!
    xoxo
    jen

  62. JudabuZen September 29, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    Kacy, you gotta stop writin’ this kinda stuff!!! My girlfriend is ready to leave me, and camp out on your doorstep! Please, help a soft-butch sistah out ….. ease back on the amazing writings, just a bit!!! 🙂

  63. in awe! October 12, 2011 at 3:06 am #

    KACY YOU NEED TO WRITE A BOOK!!

  64. Amy in small town, Texas December 25, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

    Your child will be honored and blessed that you are in their life, regardless of whether they are “of you”….that child will be born out the amazing love that you and Cori share with each other. I’m so excited I found y’all’s blog and I will continue to follow the pregnancy and your thoughts..can’t wait to hear what you’re having 🙂

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