My Blog has moved to a new home!
Please visit http://www.accordingtocori.com !!
My Blog has moved to a new home!
Please visit http://www.accordingtocori.com !!
I want to say thank you in advance for all of you who have reached out to us over the past months. Your love and support has been overwhelming, and we have loved being a part of your lives in this small way. I know that we have been absent for a while, but I can promise you that there has been good reason. We are at the stage now where we can share with you what has been going on. This is the hardest news I have had to share, but the hope will be that by sharing it, I reach other parents that have been, or are currently, in the same situation. Hold onto yourselves, because this is not easy…
As most of you know, my beautiful wife got pregnant in August of 2011. After 7 months of trying, we were blessed with an angel. We received all of your congratulations and support along the way, and we knew that the child that grew inside of her was a shared joy for all of us.
In early December, we were finally able to determine exactly who was inside Cori’s womb. We were blessed with a lovely baby girl, and we named her Charlie Monroe Boccumini. Our life was all planned out: We were going to be Parents to this perfect little girl, and life was going to unfold naturally along this path.
Christmas was coming soon, and Cori’s belly was growing fast. It was going to be our last holiday with only two names on presents under the tree, and we were so excited and thankful for all that this year had brought us. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always turn out the way one hopes.
On Thursday, December 22nd, in her fifth month of pregnancy, Cori began bleeding heavily. We immediately rushed her to an emergency room. The nurses looked at Charlie by using an ultrasound machine, and confirmed that she was doing just fine. Her heartbeat was strong and she was sleeping peacefully in her Mother’s womb. The bleeding has slowed, and everything seemed normal so they sent us home that night. Relieved, we went home with the intention of seeing our Dr. in the morning. We laid our heads down that night, grateful that we still had our baby, and held each other thinking that we were in the clear. We would give anything to go back to that night, but unfortunately, life doesn’t give you those opportunities.
On the morning of Friday, December 23rd, we went to see our Dr. We explained the incident, and this time, the Dr looked at Cori’s cervix. She discovered that everything was not all right: Cori’s cervix has started to open prematurely, and Charlie was at the beginning stages of delivering. Cori has a condition called “Incompetent (weakened) Cervix”. The Cervix isn’t strong enough to sustain the weight of pregnancy, and more often, most women have no idea that they have this condition until something like this happens. What we knew at that moment was that our baby was in danger, and the odds of her surviving were less than 50%.
We were immediately rushed to the Labor and Delivery unit at UCLA medical center, where they put Cori on inverted bed rest. The amniotic sac that held Charlie had begun to descend into Cori’s Cervix, and they were hoping that gravity would help it rescind back into the uterus. Once the sac had rescinded, a specialist was going to perform an emergency cerclage, which means that they were going to sew Cori’s Cervix shut. After that, Cori would be on bed rest for the rest of her term until Charlie could be taken out safely, a few months down the road. That was our best shot at saving her, but we needed Cori’s water not to break before the procedure could be performed.
On Saturday, December 24th, despite all attempts, Cori’s water broke. We knew that there was nothing else we could do to save our baby girl. She was delivering early, and she was too little to survive outside of the womb.
Cori and I held each other as our world fell apart in that tiny hospital room. I will never recover from the weight of that moment. It is burned into me forever: the pain, the look in Cori’s eyes, the thoughts running through my head, “This can’t be. I cannot accept this. But we love her. We love her so much already. We can’t say goodbye.”
The nurses induced labor on my beautiful wife at about 6pm. Even though we knew what the outcome was going to be, my darling girl had to suffer one more injustice by going through a full delivery to get Charlie out. I held her hand, not able to take away any of the pain, not able to give her any answers, or explain why we had this thrown upon us. The bravery it took – the strength – in my wife. I will never know the extent of what Cori went through that night, but I will always be forever grateful to her for doing it.
Charlie Monroe Boccumini was born at 9:12pm on Christmas Eve. Our little angel was 13.2 ounces of perfect: from the tip of her button nose to her perfectly formed toes, she was the spitting image of Cori. I saw my little girl take one small breath of life before she was lifted up to Heaven. We had been crying for the last 3 days non-stop until she arrived. Suddenly, a calm came over the room. The nurse wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to Cori, and we finally came face to face with our sweet girl. We held her, kissed her incredible little cheeks and hands, and told her how much we loved her and how special she will always be to us.
On Sunday, December 25th, at the stroke of midnight, Cori and I held our little girl in our arms, said “Merry Christmas”, and then sadly, but with a promise to see her again sometime in the future, somewhere, we said goodbye. We didn’t cry the entire time she was with us – just cherished the very miracle she was, and the time we had with her. She made us mothers, made us a family, and although the ending in this lifetime is a sad one, we carry her with us always until we are reunited.
Our hearts are shattered, and we are left collecting the tiny pieces of our lives to try and put them back together. She will always be our missing piece, because she was here and very very real. While others were celebrating the New Year, we were choosing an urn for our daughter. The world is dark and unfair, and we are holding each other, trying to get from day to day.
Although we feel alone in this, Cori and I both know that there are other couples that have experienced this kind of loss. As painful as it is, we wanted to share this with all of you who have been so invested in our family. Life is what it is. Charlie is gone, and Cori and I are left here to try and find a way back to normal. The journey is a long one… a hard dark road. We have each other, and it is that fact that makes another day possible. And so we take one more breath, in and out…
Hi, Friends! As usual it has been a while. You should be used to the routine by now…I promise to blog more…and then don’t. But here you are, reading anyway…sucker! Just kidding-ish.
Since the last time I wrote, whenever that was, I am sure a lot has happened…I just don’t remember. So I am going to scroll through the pictures in my phone to hopefully jog my memory…and also, if I add pictures they make the post look longer and I can write less. Laziness. Welcome to it.
First stop, my 30th birthday.
All I wanted (all I ever want) is to get away and lay in or by a pool that is not my own, with a good book (usually twilight…again) for days at a time. So for my birthday that is what I got. And it was fantastic.
My wife, our bestest friend Laura, my sister-in-law Niky and my mother-in-law Julee (who shares my birthday) rented a house in Palm Springs for the weekend. Me, the people I love, a pool and Twilight. What more could a 13 year old girl ask for?
On the ride up, we worked on our duck faces. Kacy’s needs work.
Lau gets a work call….booooooo.
We squish her head.
After we arrive, I force feed Kacy some meat. She enjoys it.
At some point we eat a delicious dinner, but of course take time to pose for a picture.
And then on to cake. They know me so well.
Next is Kacy’s birthday. All she wants is a creepy tour around Hollywood that shows you where famous people died. It actually ended up being super fun and luckily not as scary as I expected. You should totally take the tour if you get a chance.
Here’s some of the group with our tour guide, Brian.
Here is my favorite part of the tour. The balcony at the end of Pretty Woman.
On the way home Lau finds a picture of Kacy from high school…
Captain of her High School basketball team, ponytail, bangs. If only I knew her back then… I think Lau feels the same.
Then we head home to change for Niky & Matt’s Halloween party.
Pretty sure the bulge in my stomach is from eating half of a Twilight birthday cake, but let’s just call it a baby bump.
Kacy (Mayhem), Lau (Sue Sylvester), Me (SunDrop)
If you are confused by our costumes please watch these.
Kacy still can’t get that duck face right.
Some of you may recognize…
Next, we attended the Power Up Premiere Gala. Power Up is head by one of our favorite lesbian power couples as well as our friends, Stacy Codikow and Lisa Thrasher. They run an incredible non-profit organization and film production company. Aside from all of the good they do for the community, they are just rad people.Here’s us all fancy pants.
Ah, and now we get to my favorite picture. The munchkin! Last week we had another ultrasound; this one was the first part of two tests that check for abnormalities in the baby. Everything looks good, Baby Boccumini is very low risk and healthy!
Here’s the little nugget at 13 weeks and 3 days. That little tummy is just so cute! Ok, I know to everyone but me and Kacy it probably just looks like a couple of blobs…but I don’t care what you think, our baby is perfect and beautiful.
And that is the end of our journey through pictures. The G rated pictures, at least…
I will post some true baby bump pictures soon. I am going maternity clothes shopping this weekend and look forward to taking a picture that I actually look pregnant in and not just like an adult in children’s clothes…yeah, I’ve gained a bit of weight and not just in the tummy….
Ok, I lied. I will leave you with one last picture. This is what I have been doing instead of blogging.
Today marks the completion of the first 3 months of our pregnancy. The past 12 weeks have been incredible. The little miracle that is growing inside my tummy makes all of the tiredness, nauseousness, & crankiness, completely worth it. There is nothing I wouldn’t suffer for our little sweet pea. I can only imagine how this incredible love we already have for our baby is going to be multiplied so intensely when he or she is born. I cannot wait.
Here is the picture I stare at pretty much all of the time. I am already in love with those cute little cheeks!
To all of you trying to get pregnant or in your 2WW, hang in there! Sending you lots of good baby making vibes! It will happen!
So I bet you’re wondering where Cori has been all this time? I can tell you. At exactly 10PM this evening, Cori went to sleep. Why so early, most of you will say? I will reply, that is actually about 2 hours late for her. Who knew that pregnant women were so tired?
I miss my wife so much. I should say… I miss seeing her vertically. I see her eyelids. I see her fingers curled around the blanket. I hear her soft little sighs. But I miss talking to her. I miss sitting on the couch watching TV, discussing what’s happening. I miss kissing, and hugging, and sharing a meal and our daily stories. I love my baby, but it I seriously capitalizing on my time with my wife.
But enough about that… I promised to pick up the reins of this blog while my wife sleeps it off. So, here is the story of how we met, which is by request. At least I have this blog and all of you to keep me company.
April 19th, 2006
Tonight was a special night. All of my friends were in town from SF and NYC, and we were gathering at this new ladies night called “Here”, at this place called Here, in LA.
Corey (Boy), Al, Michi, and Kim were in attendance. It was my mission to find my friends people to flirt with, and perhaps take home. I was not the kind of person who did well at the clubs. I am an acquired taste – people don’t see me from across the club and want to take me home.
That being said, I was also an established single person. I was not single and dating, I was (and determined to be) alone. A year before I met Cori, I had gone through an incredibly horrific breakup. Unfortunately, it was the last of several very bad decisions in relationship partners. I was always terrible at choosing the right women to date. So… after that experience, I decided that I couldn’t be trusted to date for a while. I took a year off from focusing on anybody else, and gave all that focus to myself.
So we’re standing outside on the patio, and I am checking in with my friends to make sure they are having a great time. I notice that Kim and Corey (Boy) are having an intense discussion and looking around the room. I inquire what they are looking at, and Corey (Boy) turns to me and says, “We’re looking for the hottest girl in the club. We think it’s that girl over there in the burgundy hoodie.”
Now, kind ladies of the jury, I had every single intention of summoning this woman over to speak to my friends – as I stated before, I was single and was choosing to be so. Unfortunately for my friend, and for every other woman on earth, the beautiful green eyes that met mine when peering across the room to see “the hottest girl in the club” belonged to Cori.
It was like getting hit with a bat to your stomach… but in the best way possible. The breath went out of me. I couldn’t help but smile, and neither could she. And then, I did something that is almost unforgivable – but will give evidence as to why I never hooked up in club. I took my index and middle finger waves motioned for Cori to move towards me. This is usually referred to as a summons. Awful, I know! But, being the strong-minded, self-respecting woman she is, she agreed to meet me halfway… at a tree. Our tree.
When people tell me they don’t believe in love at first sight, I always smile, and think of those pretty green eyes from across the room. Then, I realize that I am subconsciously rubbing my thumb against my wedding ring.
I will have to save the rest of the story for another night. The sleeping beauty next to me is ready to cuddle. I have a small window of opportunity, so I have to act fast.
Oh my gosh. I am so tired. So incredibly tired. I slept for 8 hours last night….what the heck?
Only a couple more weeks of the first trimester left and then it’s magical, wonderful, super-woman feeling time! Right?
I need to have Kacy write a post since I clearly don’t have the energy to write anything of substance…*hint hint, babe…get on it 🙂 *
Hope you are all well!
So, unlike I promised, it’s been a while since my last post. I have been in a 24/7 state of nauseousness. It takes every last bit of my super special brain powers to concentrate on not throwing up. This, unfortunately, means I could not lose focus and write a post. I figured you would rather have no post, than one covered in vomit. Right?
So my “morning” sickness is a mild nauseousness that is forever. The only time I am not mildly nauseous is when I am seriously, majorly, violently vomiting. This is our little sweet pea’s way of reminding me who is in charge. Not me.
Well, today the baby gods decided they would give me a few minutes of relief and I decide I would spend them with you, telling you how I got those miraculous minutes.
In the past few weeks of my neverending flu I have learned some things that work and some things that do the opposite of work.
So to help with the mild sickies, Lemon Sparkling water is pretty good. I like Arrowhead because it is one of the few that has no sodium.
What has also helped with the mild sickies and sort of the serious sickies are the acupressure wristbands. I have the Bioband and I think it works, there is a chance that it could just be in my head…either way it’s fine by me.
But the most bestest, number 1, favorite, serious sickie fixer winner is Ginger Spicy Apple candies. OHMYGOSHMARRYME.
I am at work, about to get a case of the horrible, terrible, green face sickies. As I hold my head in my hands begging the little miniature munchkin to forgive me for the Sausage Hot Pocket I just tried to eat without him noticing (or her, but my gut says “him”) I see a piece of the candy peeking out of my purse, sparkling in the sunshine. Kacy gave me these candies because someone said Ginger might help. I hate Ginger. No, I HATE Ginger. So it was not on my list of things to put in my mouth while on the verge of death. But, I kept one in my purse because I have everything else in there, so why not? (and I also knew it would make Kacy really happy) So as I prepare for my run to the bathroom I decide to try it first. I am desperate. The bathroom is very public, and unlike all of you, the people I work with do NOT know I got myself knocked up. I try to avoid giving them any hints at all costs. I put the candy in my mouth as I hold my nose. I hold my nose because that is what people do on Fear Factor when they have to eat milkshakes made of spiders, and that is what I compare this to. And it’s not that bad, the spicy apple part takes away from the ginger part and is so spicy that it distracts me from being nauseous. Then as I finish the chewy candy I realize I am cured. Like, 100%, not even mildly sick, perfectness. I just experienced a miracle.
So if you are suffering like I have been, please try these miracle candies. You will thank me later. I will be buying them in bulk for the weeks ahead.
That’s all I’ve got…
PS For the next time I experience a miracle and actually write a post, pretty please let me know if there is anything in particular ya’ll want me to write about. I am super not creative.